I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
