the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Sext me about skeletons
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
