I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
