Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
