i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
