Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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