Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
