I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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