I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
