Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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