News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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