Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
