i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize