then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
