Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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