I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize