last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
