To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
this hospital has no fireball
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
