Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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