New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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