I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
