Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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