Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
