hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
