Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize