Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Boobs are out for the taking
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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