Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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