I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
