I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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