shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
