Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
