Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
