oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
