I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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