I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
When did we convert life to cartoon?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize