thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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