The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Randomize
