Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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