Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
