We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
