I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
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