like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
