what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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