This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
