did you get engaged???
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
