Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I don't think brook has ever known best
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
