fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
