it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize