who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
