So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize