So drunk, too bad you don't want this
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
