I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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