Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
