i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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