You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
