Just cropdusted the office
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
