I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
