I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I am mentally ready for anal.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
