I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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